facebook and other fucking things

Do you ever feel alone?

Like totally and completely alone? Even when you’re surrounded by the people who love you the most?

That’s where I’ve been. Where I’m at. I have a husband who loves and supports me like no one else on this planet and a magical little girl who captures everyone’s heart everywhere she goes. And yet I’m still lonely.

It’s funny, the one thing that has truly made me feel this way is Facebook. The place where you connect with your friends and loved ones. But Facebook makes me crazy. It opens your thoughts and opinions to the people in your life and sometimes the people in your life don’t share those thoughts and opinions. Which is just fine. But people don’t interact in person the same way they do when they can write it on your wall for all to see.

Facebook also brings out a mad case of jealousy in me. Yes, I’m grateful for the things I have in my life. However, any number of things in my timeline – new homes/cars/toys, vacations, conversations – can cast a shade of green over my thoughts. That being said, I’m just as guilty as the next guy. Who doesn’t want to post their success stories and shining moments for all to see? The drawback to showing only the positive is giving people an uneven perspective of your life. We don’t post the negative because who wants to show that? But that’s the piece that makes a relationship real. Knowing the good and seeing the bad and supporting you through it all. That kind of connection only happens in real outside-of-the-internet life.

In any case, to keep myself sane I’ve hidden about 80% of Facebook from my view. I have the power to participate in conversations I choose and see content that brings positivity to my life. At the same time I’m trying to find the right balance in my own sharing. Questions I struggle with most: “Who gives a shit if I post this? Why am I posting it? Will I only feel validated if people like or comment on it? And why the fuck is that?”

Whitney Yadrich pinned this post yesterday and it’s just spot on. Why do I care what other people think of me? The only person who needs to be happy with me is me. I mean really, I’m the only person I will be with my whole entire life. So I’m going to do me –  whatever that means – and focus my efforts on my people who matter.

And Twitter, I love you, but I just need a break.

If you miss me, you can always find me on Instagram, Pinterest and this Tumblr thing where I mostly just like yoga pictures, Beyonce gifs and whatshouldwecallme. People are way nice over here. 

Or you could do any of those old fashioned things like email, call or text. I’m trying to be better about those things myself. I’m terrible, actually. But I’m trying.

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About sarahkscoular

Sarah K. Scoular (@sarahkscoular on twitter) has 15 years customer service experience including face to face, over the phone and via digital interactions. Sarah is currently Enterprise Community Manager for uCern, the enterprise 2.0 social platform where Cerner Associates and Clients connect and collaborate. She ensures the 100,000+ member network is connecting people with others in similar roles or special interest groups, sharing information and finding answers to the questions they're looking for. Sarah helps others who are helping to revolutionize Health Care. Outside of work, Sarah is the wife of a graphic designer/laser engraver and the mother of seven-year-old Madeleine. She loves to cook clean, plant-strong foods and is a certified yoga and Les Mills BODYFLOW instructor.
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